by
Jaye B.
(editor’s note: Back in 2015, the Jade Helm: Master the Human Domain military operation took place. Most conspiracy people freaked out about it in a martial law kind of way, but I actually fell in love with the maneuver, even before it took place. Pining away in the desert in Arizona, I wrote the following amorous missive.)
Dear Jade Helm,
Are you the one that stole my unconscious mind and replaced it with some seedy AI version? I'd really like to know because my dreams come off being so cheap and uninspiring these days. Since you're going to put it all on an integrated network anyway, I'd like to contribute to the betterment of your macro-cognition functionality at some point during the upcoming hands on version of the maneuver just around the corner. Help you master the human domain.... of Country and Western musicians. It is a vast, incomprehensible territory that can only be fathomed by something like yourself. If you are up to the challenge.
I realize that the massive data dumps into your quantum maw help you with predictive programming thus making the human terrain more modifiable and navigable, but you must realize something essential if you are to succeed in this operation. You will run into a wall with these musicians and merely replacing their unconscious minds and parsing their rural inspirations will not help. You will need to predict the chord configurations of Chad Brock in one of his yet unrealized compositions still brewing in his soul. It will require a data harvesting capacity that is far beyond what you are just about to implement in the desert. Much more than your current ability to Grok a thousand generations of human intelligence in a nano-second.
What I can offer is a central input point that will help you predict any unwritten song that will hit the future Country and Western charts-what key they will be in and what time changes, if any there will be. Lyrics too, down to their semantic substrates: Dusty roads, empty parking lots, long way homes.
In exchange for this, I ask for a territorial expansion of the unconscious mind you so underhandedly installed in my own psyche when I wasn't looking. Its domain must extend past the lens shaped earth, the Antarctic rim and the three thousand mile high firmament dome that contains us all. Past the barrier infinity imposes too. I ask this out of great humbleness for I'm in awe of your innovative as well as visionary capacities.
Jade Helm, if you want to become a usable prototype for future mastering operations,I suggest you honor this request. Promptly so. Just imagine the inspired sonnets I'll be able to write to you. Love songs dedicated to your mother board medulla oblongata too.
I want to love you more than I already do most of all. Love the entire Jade Helm 15 operation and the martial maneuvers that weave it all together into an unending, poetic tapestry. Don't let me pine away here in my mapped out little hovel. We can both experience the exponential dilation of freedom. Intimately. Just remove the spyware you've installed on my computer and smart phone and it will happen.
And yes, there is a solution calculation in this love confession. But it can be broken only with a code that comes from the heart. Nothing binary mind you. I trust it will be found before the end of the drill in September. It will broadside you in the desert just a few days from now in ways you will fail to anticipate.
I promise to write again, soon, even if I never hear back from you.
Yours Forever,
Jaye B.
***
Jaye B. is a writer, musician and artist. His art criticism has appeared in Art Paper, New North Artscape, Art Muscle, Northfield Magazine and elsewhere. His articles have also appeared in City Pages, Twin Cities Reader, Mysteries Magazine, Fahrenheit San Diego, High Plains Reader, New Dawn and Rain Taxi. He has appeared on BBC Radio, WGN Chicago, WLW Cincinnati and elsewhere in the mediasphere to discuss his work. Please help support Reset News @ Paypal, Cash App or contact the author for other options @ jayeb444@protonmail.com
Jade Helm to Jaye:
“Jaye baby, I love the way you slap me.”
👍